Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is……….

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn….I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is……….

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn….I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

Fuel prices higher squeeze hit home personally siphoning many extra dollars out of the American consumer. At the same time, housing prices have declined so that 20% of homeowners are insolvent since their homes are worth less than their mortgages.

Because of failed Congressional policies these past 20 years, the deficit checks are coming home to roost via higher foreign currencies. That means prices in Wal-Mart will be rising.

Not only in Wal-Mart but inflationary pressures are building in the cost of raw material throughout the country. Inflation should be raising its head along with politician’s band aid pandering for votes urging wage increases and increased entitlements.

Only now, good paying jobs are hard to come by. Institutions are reluctant to extend credit which is a key ingredient for economic growth.

With housing pressures, health care increases, inflationary pressures and high fuel costs, the challenge and wakeup call is hitting home.

It’s time to rally for America and bring out her best. To conserve, strive for efficient energy inventions and solid family values. To humble themselves before God and walk in a way that brings honor to their steps.

10 Reasons America's Two-Income Families Aren't What You Think
(According to Harvard Law professor and bankruptcy expert Elizabeth Warren)

1. Two-income families today make 75% more in inflation-adjusted dollars, but have less money to spend than one-income families did 30 years ago.

(editorial comment: 1out of 5 jobs is a government job whose average pay exceed average private sector pay. 30 years ago more like 1 out of 12 jobs were a government job. The government has fingers into practically every aspect of our daily lives.
There is corruption due to the size and scope. “A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take away everything you have.” - Goldwater/Ford formulation

Until the hogs at the gate pandering for politicians votes end, those lobbying government will funnel money into excess extravagance. The sheer size of government needs ongoing budget cuts, departments consolidated and liquidated and lobbyists imprisoned.)

2. Two-income families today spend: 21% less on clothing, 22% less on food, and 44% less on appliances compared to one-income families a generation ago.

3. Every 15 seconds an American family files for bankruptcy.

4. This year, more kids will live through their parents' bankruptcy, than through their parents' divorce.

5. 1.6 million families will file for bankruptcy this year, 9 million more are already in credit counseling.

6. Home mortgage foreclosures are up more than three-fold over the last generation and car foreclosures have hit record levels.

7. More than 62% of families say that they worry about making ends meet.

8. The average family spends 69% more in inflation-adjusted dollars on their home mortgage than their parents spent a generation ago.

9. The average family spends 61% more on health insurance, than their parents spent a generation ago.

10. Credit card default rates are at a record high.

Photo checks open a whole variety of possibilities besides just personalized checks and accessories such as address labels. Simply upload your favorite photo and design purses, covers, memory books, calendars, mouse pads or personalize plush teddy bears for neat gifts for the holiday season. This personalized touch unique gift brings a little personality you add to whatever your gift choice is.

With photo checks to can incorporate your favorite 4 digital photos by uploading them and including them in 4 distinct rotating scenes displayed in your personal checkbook. You can use personalized photo on your address label.

How about Holiday Photo Cards? For prices as low as 17 cents, how can you go wrong?